Part 3: Your touch becomes a lyrical inspiration! … To my poetic expression!

Mangalore Railway Station

December 13, 1999.

‘I don’t know why, when I see the railway tracks, so many views and thoughts will come to my mind. These railway tracks make many people to meet each other, but for me it it was reverse. It was taking my one and only close friend Dinesh far away from me. I don’t know when we would meet again. Dinesh was going to his native place for higher studies. After all life is like a journey, when our station comes we have to get down!’

We were waiting for the train.

‘When you will come back, Dinesh?’

‘As soon as possible. Don’t worry.’ He assured.

‘Take care of your health. Okay? Keep in touch.’ I wished him.

‘Thanks a lot, you too!’, Dinesh stopped for a while and asked again, ‘Hari, I wanted to ask a question please don’t mind.’

‘Yeah, sure. What’s that?’

‘I know, Hari. You are such a nice person. It’s very difficult for someone to get a friend like you. But I have noticed you being moody many times. When it comes to other matters you are completely materialistic. It looks like you don’t believe in relationships at all. Sometimes I just wonder how we became friends. And I’m lucky too. But what made you be so? I want to know about it today. So far I did not ask. Can you tell me today at least?’

I looked into his eyes.

‘It’s difficult thing to tell the story of a life; and yet more difficult when that life is one’s own!’, I stopped my words for a while and then continued, ‘I really did not expect this question from you today, Dinu. It’s quite difficult to tell, yaar. Because I don’t share my personal life with anyone, even though if they are close to me. Reason is simple because it’s personal. There is a saying that says, ‘Don’t share your personal thing with anyone even though how close they are!’ I believe in this. You just came here before one year. Luckily we became friends. But still sometimes I feel all alone! I don’t know why? Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom. My life is like that! Our mind is like wet cement; whatever falls in that, marks an impression, such impression, which may never go. I’m sorry. I cannot tell. You know me very well. I’m very straight forward.’

‘Okay! Sorry, Hari but one thing. Even if your hero asks, then also you will say the same thing?’

‘What? Which hero?’, I asked with a surprise.

‘Sorry. I mean to say your future friend from show life.’ He smiled

‘Please, shut up, Dinesh. Do you believe all those things? What rubbish? He just wanted to confuse me. That’s why he told so I feel.’

‘Okay okay but if it becomes true? If a hero becomes your role model?’

‘Please stop it. Every hero becomes at last a bore! But how can you say so, Dinesh? You know me very well. A reel life hero can never become my role model or my friend. I hate them. All are masks. Don’t even think I’m such an idiot. My one and only one role model in recent time is Sri.Ramakrisha Paramhansa. The combination of Rama & Krishna. Just imagine what a personality he might have had to attract a person like Vivekanand who never believed in any thing until and unless he confirms that it’s true. Just like me. Sometimes I wonder, Vivekananda at least got Ramakrishna who cleared all his doubts. But I am still searching for that Ramakrishna who could answer all my question, who can bring the belief back once again in life. And I don’t think it may come to an end in this mean world. It will be like searching for an Oasis in a desert!’

‘Don’t worry, Hari. I’m sure. You will find him. Take Care!’

‘I hope so. You too, take care! Will miss you.’ I said.

Dinesh is waving his hands towards me. I know I was going to miss him. I was just waving my hands till the train disappeared from my eyesight. Railway station is filled with crowd. But I was all alone.

Even though there are hundreds of people around you, the feeling that I am alone is called loneliness. And the terrible experience of that loneliness can only be realised by them, who have experienced it.

While coming back to my home from the railway station, I thought about the Sadhu. There is such thing called rebirth and a growing number of instant Sadhu’s are realising that it happens in parlour. Spiritual channels that recruit god people for prime –time preaching are beautifying and grooming them for the masses with glossy lipsticks, regular facials and carefully trimmed beards.

With at least three24-hour religious channels and early morning slots on three others, tele preaching is evidently a serious business today. And producers obviously want all angles to look good. The Gurus may not admit it overtly, but they are spending considerable time on becoming presentable. Even their eyebrows are being shaped and the all-important vermilion marks, which reflect their sectarian beliefs, are careful creations of makeup artistes. If inner light does not make them glow, quality cosmetics and facial massages do the job. Kohl-lined eyes are becoming common And Mata Amrithaji-not to be confused with Mata Amritananadmayiji –uses lipstick and evening make up.

A young Swamy has considered as the most handsome of the TV crop, takes care to craft short, sharp sideburns. His eyes brows are always well shaped and he could teach film stars a thing or two about how to keep one’s skin fresh as a daisy. But I did not see all these kind of things in that Sadhu…he was so simple…I was confused about the words he said.

‘Why he had to tell all those things to me? Whether it’s really going to happen? Or it was just to escape from my questions? I don’t think so. Because when he said so he was so confident...confidence in his eyes I have seen. Ufffffffff! I thought I made a mistake by visiting there. If I would have never gone there these entire thing wouldn’t have happened. But how come Dinesh fall for his words? I know that he trusts that Sadhu. But how he could ask that question with me when he knows me very well?’

That night I don’t know what happened to me. I could not sleep at all. I knew that tomorrow onwards I will be alone again. . Just took my dairy out and wrote few lines.

‘Oh, Goddess of sleep!

When we will meet each other again?

We have almost become like strangers to each other.

Once upon a time you were a good friend of mine

As sun goes down at the west you were taking me by holding my hand.

And I was building a new castle in air in your fairy state

As soon as sun rises you were bringing me back

But now?

Now there are no dreams… just memories!

After saying a good night to my mom and moving back to my room,

I am just waiting for you in the silence of darkness!!

I know very well that one day the other

And very soon..And only once..

You are surely going to come..

To meet your old friend..

Then, there will not be any dreams

Just a sleep… permanent sleep!’

Suddenly a thought. Those words of Sadhu, ‘You are going to meet them exactly after six years.’

I laughed at myself…we cannot even say that whether we will be in exist tomorrow or not. And he was talking about six years. And according to him, they are going to show me what friendship is! So funny. Never. If I allow anyone into my heart then only they could become my friend, right? Or else how they can. And that Sadhu didn’t know about what kind of a person I am. His words are just bullshit.

I just turned aside. Closed my eyes. Just few minutes…

I could not sleep. What to do? I started to scratch my head. Again those words of Sadhu came to my mind.. Aiyo…Che! I tried to chase those 2 people who were trying to get place in my mind. I thought it was not so easy. Something I had to do so that I could keep them far away from my thought..…

Suddenly a thought flashed in my mind. ‘Hey, why don’t you get some inspiration by those words? Those are far away from you, why don’t you get them down in your writing?

I thought for a while, thought about those words of Sadhu again.

They are going to show me what friendship is..!

Got it…! The title for my new story!!!

Sneham (Friendship)!

Thought again what does the meaning of ‘Friend’? After sometime I got the meaning

‘First Relationship In Earth, which Never Dies!

Wah ..Really nice. The perfect meaning!

Anyhow I had got the title. Now I had to start writing. A nice story. Anyhow I have two characters. Hahaha! Who else, Sadhu’s best friends..Ooops!! I mean to say my best friends according to that Sadhu’s words. I was laughing when I thought all those stuffs again..

‘Thanks, Dinesh.. Because of you and that incident At least I have got a nice thought! I got an inspiration. Anyhow you are not here. Let me at least spend my day with my imaginary friends, at least through this story. And when you come back I will show this to you.’ I thought.

Okay! Now I had to think about characterisations. Why should not take the Sadhu’s words. I hope he would not sue me in the future I thought.

‘Which names I should keep for my hero and heroines of this story? According to that Sadhu they will teach me about patience. That means peace. Peace means “Shanti” in Kannada. Okay! Let me keep me the name Shanti for my story’s heroine. Hey, by the way he said that one of my friend’s name will start with the letter “S”. Who knows? Might be this Shanti only. What a coincidence! Hahaha.’

I could not control my laughter.

‘Okay! Now let me think about hero’s name. Which name would suit him? Of course I can not keep Sharukh or Salman. It should be something different. Which name may suit him? That also should be a name, which nobody has kept for their hero.’ I was sure about that. I thought more than ten minutes. I was not satisfied with any names.

Okay. Let me go back to the Sadhu’s word .According to him my friend will be the person with all those qualities for which I am looking forward in my friend.

‘Aiyo!!!.Is it possible? Whether really such kind of persons exists in real life? It will be just a dream. If really such persons were there then our girls would have never suffered in their love life or married life. Every girl may want such kind of lover or life partner in her life. Hey! Why I should not keep the name as “Priyatam” to my hero? That means lover or a dream man. Anyhow I have not seen any writers keeping such nice name. Anyhow I was damn sure that my story’s hero will be not in real life, as he is going to be the dream personality of all, at whom all females should swoon.Yes.I made my mind sure about those characters, which would come as friends in my story, are going to become the dream roles. So far everybody wrote only hero and heroines falling love and blah blah..So let me write something different. Let me write my hero and heroines are falling in a true friendship. Yes! It will be much more interesting if they are married already. A true friendship between two married people.Wah..What a nice concept.’

I was very confident that story would surely come up at its best. Because I was confident about my writing skills as I had got many prizes for writing poems and stories.

The plot was ready for my story. I just noted few points about the story so that I could start it from the next day.

So I thought of sleeping then. But still I felt like I have forgotten to write something...Oh got it! I did not thank the main inspiration for my new story Sneham (Friendship)!

My best friends! My imaginary friends!

Then I wrote few lines in my dairy for those imaginary best friends who were presently far away from me and were still strangers to me.

‘Oh my best friends,

I don’t know who you are, where you are.

..And when you will enter in my life…..

But trust me. I will be waiting for you.

I want to be enveloped by your thoughts.

The only thing I am addicted to, is the meet of us..

And I know, when you enter my life...

…Your touch becomes a lyrical inspiration...

…to my poetic expression!’

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