Part 90: I’ve a reason for me to change… And that reason is you!

It’s really difficult to say or explain to anyone how blissfully I spent my most memorable hours with him. It is simply astonishing to think how, through play, merriment and other activities; he gave me the most exalted confidence and molded my life without my knowledge. Meanwhile wherever he got chance he did not forget to pull my legs. He played such pranks on me, the devil.

I wish if I could rewind my life’s line in tape and go backwards in time when I spend with him.

‘Oh lord, one piece of iron is in the image in the temple, and another knife in the hand of the butcher; but when they touch the philosopher’s stone both like turn into gold.

I understood my lord. I am not so stupid to not to realize the fact. Really you have blessed me beyond my imagination and expectation. I am content! I know it was none other you my Kannayya( dearest name for lord Krishna)who came in the form of Kenny to save my life and to bring the turning point. I understood what you wanted to inform. I understood my lord but I was a stupid who was wandering for ghee, keeping butter in my hand. Yes, I was blind. Totally blind who could not realise the truth. I was a fool who did not even offer food for you. You had to ask!! Oh lord, please don’t look upon my mistake if I worship you for the fear of hell, burn me in hell, and if I worship you in hope of paradise, exclude me from paradise, but if I worship you for my pals prosperity, please grudge me not by reaching their vicinity’ I just prayed with my lord.

I stood before him and held him by his hand in a very emotional mood and passed into an ecstasy.

‘Oh friend! Today I’ve given you my all and have become a penniless beggar in front of your great character. But still while loading at my empty palm, my eyes are ready to shed tears out of joy and I am becoming highly emotional for the first time in my life. Do you know why? So far I had everything but still lost everything. But today I’ve nothing. I am nothing but still I have got everything. I have a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new and that reason is you”

Suddenly I don’t know where it was, but such a painful spasm within my heart for few seconds, appeared. Such a pain like someone was taking out the whole strength out of my body. Very difficult to control. It took few seconds for me to come back to my normal position.

Okay! Now I am okay. Recovered. Ufff!

Sorry, friend! I forgot you out of joy. Don’t remind me that I forgot you. Okay?

A tear appeared and the pain reflected in my eyes. Why? Shhhhhhhh!

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