Part 67:I knew then that it was all over! Last day of my life as an actor!

In a theatre, which had a capacity of six hundred fifty audience, there were hardly twenty five to thirty people for the first show. I was close to tears.

You won't believe -- I was going there almost every day to keep track of my film. I was so desperate about Sethu.

I thought it’s all over. Our all those hard work went in a vein. But what I found that even those leisurely walked in half an hour late after the movie got start, they sat through and started clapping by the end of the movie. Suddenly I felt hopeful as you say the audience that comes to that particular theatre are like those in the smaller places like Trichi or Salem.

The Friday it finally came one the big screen there were barely two people in the thearte of Abhirami. It was a morning show. We begged the theatre guys to screen it in the evening. The college crowd would not come for a morning show. But they did not agree. The movie was a losing proposition for them and they could not spoil their lucrative afternoon and evening and night slots.

I called up and requested them, ‘Please wait for sometime’

“Sorry Sir. It’s embarrassing. Only ten people are inside the theatre.” I completely got melt at the place where I stood.

Barely two people on Friday.

A few more but not nearly enough on Saturday.

Same story on Sunday.

There was no feedback for two days.

That night Bala called saying that the theatre owners had decided to pull the show off the theatres by Monday morning. I called the theatre guys and asked (almost begged) them to put up with the movie for one more week. Or at least let it finish that one-week. Out of sheer pity for me they agreed.

But deep inside me, I knew then that it was all over!

And after some fifteen years of struggle, fifteen years of life one the fringes, of not making it, of growing older every day with nothing to show for it, I was finally ready to give up. I’d watched it more than hundred times.

After going to the theatres for three days, I finally decided to stop going. Why prolong the agony?

On Monday morning the Indian Express did an extensive Review of the film. Calling it a phenomenal movie and Bala a genius director and me the ‘actor’ of the decade––much praise indeed––they went to town praising the film. But of what use was it? Some Tamil magazines had done the same thing. The media talked about the movie and pushed it and supported it unlike any other film in recent times. But what was the point? That’s when I realized that unless people actually watche

d a movie, it was not really worth it. Nothing matters. Not great acting, not great reviews. The movie has to be seen by the public. Only then does it become a movie.

It was Thursday.

Last day of the movie in the theatres...... Last day of my life as an actor!

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