‘I know you can’t. Tell this moment I didn’t even weep at any moment, you know! I was so determined. The things, which happened with me, were hard pills to swallow. How will you know all these things? I don’t think I was wrong because death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is when the good dies inside us while we are alive?’ After a pause I continued, ‘Or Am I alive? I am taking breath; blood is flowing in me still I don’t feel I am alive. Am I? Due to the silence of talk, loneliness of friends I am all alone in the crowd. Am I alive? In the silence of darkness I’m searching for someone who is mine, in his nature who is divine! I’ve completely lost myself. Am I alive?’
He stopped me for a while and replied, ‘I can understand but don’t forget. Joke over your troubles but gather strength from them. Have fun with difficulties but over come them. Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them! That’s life!’
‘Life?? Life itself has become a joke here. How easily you said that joke over your troubles. How would you know the value of relationships? How would you know the value of feelings? For you cinema must be just a fashion. That’s why you can take rest for years and come back when you want. It doesn’t make any difference for you .The cliché you said just looks good only in the books. Not in real life. Everything is commercialized here. Even in your industry everyone will not get the equal importance. There are so many people who are still behind the scenes in spite working very hard. Most of the times it’s only the hero who gets the credit even though he takes hundreds of retakes for each shot and troubles a lot. They still rule because they are star sons. I hate this injustice and oppose it. I don’t understand why so many people leave everything family, wealth, and friends to join an industry where it’s very hard to make it and should remain an outsider or an extra? Why don’t they just leave it? It is the most uncertain life. It is just crash course because it’s so short lived. Worst thing is the people who are stars simply forget this fact and behave, as they are here to rule for 1000 years.
The producer has to pay everybody, nobody works for free. Cine industry is place where there’s a kind of festival everyday. Producer pays people to come to work, to eat, to run home from work. He even pay for the holidays when they are not working. Everybody is overpaid. If the returns are is not good enough, then how will this cycle continue?
And especially in the industry, the filmmaker does not get anything. The crooks like the cable and video pirates, the middlemen like the distributors, exhibitors are the ones who earn maximum from the movie. Those who work hard create it; get very less in terms of returns. The poor producer puts in his money to realize others dreams, his dreams remain just that dream. And at the end of the day, the hardly gets a good profit!
What do you know about the struggle of producer who suffers a heavy loss when his films fail? What do you know about the pain of those extras who struggle to make it big in their life since years? What do you know about those dubbing artists or the people who are dumped within the dark rooms? How would you come to know about their pain? I don’t find anyone in the industry who may come unto my expectation. These actors are only greedy about money. They are not here to perform. They just want money and fame not the dedication. They are not even modest or don’t know how to respect others.
If those actors have achieved such success that is because of public and they treat the same public and far as outsiders.
All stars are here just to gain stardom. Nothing else.
How would you come to know the agony of depression? What do you know about the feeling of pain? How would you came to know what is despair? How would you come to know the depth of wound when the people who you trusted hurt you? What do you know? Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches not the people like you!’
My words were not less the stroke of a whip. The man, who’s simple minded like a child in his ordinary mood, took my words seriously and got very much agitated in mind.
Or I felt so?
But he fell in characteristically quiet. He looked almost quiet and upset. Without this knowledge I was just seeing the book that was in my hand. Just I had turned few pages then I noticed him. I understood. The only way to get him out of the blue was by taunting him about his future plans.
‘Hey! Don’t take words so serious. Hey, don’t you have any idea of directing the movie?’
He was still quiet. It looked like his mind was wavy. I thought he got angry and doesn’t want to talk to me.
I know how it feels I agree. It was completely wrong of me to do that and I felt sad about it. I was impulsive and rash at that point of time. And in that heat of the moment, I did not think before speaking, my wounds were still fresh. But it was that how much even I could take. I just turned my attention towards the book. I had just turned a page!
‘Anda Aaasai En Adimanasula Irukku!’ (I too have that desire deep in my heart…!)
Suddenly when I heard so, I turned back. He’s still sitting there silent. Once again I turned my attention towards the art.
‘Dhool’ shooting! The area was fraught with activity, what with Police cars plying at top speed, Policemen running here and there. On the road that leads to Mahabalipuram, in the midnight, Vikram was busy beating up a group of men alongside the sea. A thrilling action sequence!!
The man with a crude moustache and hefty muscles is absolutely transformed once the shot is over and calmly settles himself in the grass.
With 24 films in hand, the man is working day and night. ‘Tomorrow, after a light nap at home, I have to fly to Switzerland. I am shooting for a song with Jyothika.’
‘Isn’t the moon beautiful today?’
I just turned when I heard the voice from my back.
Are! He is sitting very next to me. I asked, ‘Hey! Here in this line you mean the song Aasai Aasai right?’
‘Yeah, you know something?’
I nodded my head, ‘Nothing.’
‘I just love that song. We shot the song at 6 in the morning, you know! We had lots of fun while shooting the song at Switzerland.’
‘When you are saying I must believe.’
‘In fact I’ve kept the same ring tone on my cell.’
‘Hey by the way when you are going to act with Shankar?? I heard that you are the hero of his next project ‘Robo’. Is it?’
‘Really? Now only I came to know about it when you said.’ He started to giggle.
I smiled back at him.
‘And what about my favourite Mani Ratnam? You must act with him. That’s my wish! It was because of Mani Ratnam I mean because of his Bombay movie. I started to watch Tamil movies, you know and I love the song ‘Uyire’ a lot.’
Now he looked in a different world. A world of his own! I felt like he wanted to say something. I could feel it. I was holding the book in my hand, very curiously to read the art. On the other hand, he was in front of my eyes in a deep thought. There was a deep silence between us for few seconds. There was only he and I, sitting on the seashore, as we were about the share the dumb ideas in silence and darkness.
Till the date I don’t know what exactly happened in the next two hours.. Whether I’d experienced his feelings or whether he shared his feelings with me? Whether I completely lost myself or completely lost in him and in his feelings…?
Two hours!!!
And what emerged is a story that takes one's breath away! A story that is out of the way! His life then and now. How did it start? How long did it take before the happy ending? It is an awe inspiring jaw-dropping story of a man, his courage, and his determination to make it. Against all odds in the face of immense humiliation, his struggle of fifteen years to get to the top. A story that justified why so many people leave everything family, wealth, privilege only to follow their dream of making it in tinsel town.
A story that fulfilled the touch, which was required for my story ‘Sparsham!’
I just started to look at the book.
On the other hand here, Vikram goes into the flashback mode.
He stopped me for a while and replied, ‘I can understand but don’t forget. Joke over your troubles but gather strength from them. Have fun with difficulties but over come them. Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them! That’s life!’
‘Life?? Life itself has become a joke here. How easily you said that joke over your troubles. How would you know the value of relationships? How would you know the value of feelings? For you cinema must be just a fashion. That’s why you can take rest for years and come back when you want. It doesn’t make any difference for you .The cliché you said just looks good only in the books. Not in real life. Everything is commercialized here. Even in your industry everyone will not get the equal importance. There are so many people who are still behind the scenes in spite working very hard. Most of the times it’s only the hero who gets the credit even though he takes hundreds of retakes for each shot and troubles a lot. They still rule because they are star sons. I hate this injustice and oppose it. I don’t understand why so many people leave everything family, wealth, and friends to join an industry where it’s very hard to make it and should remain an outsider or an extra? Why don’t they just leave it? It is the most uncertain life. It is just crash course because it’s so short lived. Worst thing is the people who are stars simply forget this fact and behave, as they are here to rule for 1000 years.
The producer has to pay everybody, nobody works for free. Cine industry is place where there’s a kind of festival everyday. Producer pays people to come to work, to eat, to run home from work. He even pay for the holidays when they are not working. Everybody is overpaid. If the returns are is not good enough, then how will this cycle continue?
And especially in the industry, the filmmaker does not get anything. The crooks like the cable and video pirates, the middlemen like the distributors, exhibitors are the ones who earn maximum from the movie. Those who work hard create it; get very less in terms of returns. The poor producer puts in his money to realize others dreams, his dreams remain just that dream. And at the end of the day, the hardly gets a good profit!
What do you know about the struggle of producer who suffers a heavy loss when his films fail? What do you know about the pain of those extras who struggle to make it big in their life since years? What do you know about those dubbing artists or the people who are dumped within the dark rooms? How would you come to know about their pain? I don’t find anyone in the industry who may come unto my expectation. These actors are only greedy about money. They are not here to perform. They just want money and fame not the dedication. They are not even modest or don’t know how to respect others.
If those actors have achieved such success that is because of public and they treat the same public and far as outsiders.
All stars are here just to gain stardom. Nothing else.
How would you come to know the agony of depression? What do you know about the feeling of pain? How would you came to know what is despair? How would you come to know the depth of wound when the people who you trusted hurt you? What do you know? Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches not the people like you!’
My words were not less the stroke of a whip. The man, who’s simple minded like a child in his ordinary mood, took my words seriously and got very much agitated in mind.
Or I felt so?
But he fell in characteristically quiet. He looked almost quiet and upset. Without this knowledge I was just seeing the book that was in my hand. Just I had turned few pages then I noticed him. I understood. The only way to get him out of the blue was by taunting him about his future plans.
‘Hey! Don’t take words so serious. Hey, don’t you have any idea of directing the movie?’
He was still quiet. It looked like his mind was wavy. I thought he got angry and doesn’t want to talk to me.
I know how it feels I agree. It was completely wrong of me to do that and I felt sad about it. I was impulsive and rash at that point of time. And in that heat of the moment, I did not think before speaking, my wounds were still fresh. But it was that how much even I could take. I just turned my attention towards the book. I had just turned a page!
‘Anda Aaasai En Adimanasula Irukku!’ (I too have that desire deep in my heart…!)
Suddenly when I heard so, I turned back. He’s still sitting there silent. Once again I turned my attention towards the art.
‘Dhool’ shooting! The area was fraught with activity, what with Police cars plying at top speed, Policemen running here and there. On the road that leads to Mahabalipuram, in the midnight, Vikram was busy beating up a group of men alongside the sea. A thrilling action sequence!!
The man with a crude moustache and hefty muscles is absolutely transformed once the shot is over and calmly settles himself in the grass.
With 24 films in hand, the man is working day and night. ‘Tomorrow, after a light nap at home, I have to fly to Switzerland. I am shooting for a song with Jyothika.’
‘Isn’t the moon beautiful today?’
I just turned when I heard the voice from my back.
Are! He is sitting very next to me. I asked, ‘Hey! Here in this line you mean the song Aasai Aasai right?’
‘Yeah, you know something?’
I nodded my head, ‘Nothing.’
‘I just love that song. We shot the song at 6 in the morning, you know! We had lots of fun while shooting the song at Switzerland.’
‘When you are saying I must believe.’
‘In fact I’ve kept the same ring tone on my cell.’
‘Hey by the way when you are going to act with Shankar?? I heard that you are the hero of his next project ‘Robo’. Is it?’
‘Really? Now only I came to know about it when you said.’ He started to giggle.
I smiled back at him.
‘And what about my favourite Mani Ratnam? You must act with him. That’s my wish! It was because of Mani Ratnam I mean because of his Bombay movie. I started to watch Tamil movies, you know and I love the song ‘Uyire’ a lot.’
Now he looked in a different world. A world of his own! I felt like he wanted to say something. I could feel it. I was holding the book in my hand, very curiously to read the art. On the other hand, he was in front of my eyes in a deep thought. There was a deep silence between us for few seconds. There was only he and I, sitting on the seashore, as we were about the share the dumb ideas in silence and darkness.
Till the date I don’t know what exactly happened in the next two hours.. Whether I’d experienced his feelings or whether he shared his feelings with me? Whether I completely lost myself or completely lost in him and in his feelings…?
Two hours!!!
And what emerged is a story that takes one's breath away! A story that is out of the way! His life then and now. How did it start? How long did it take before the happy ending? It is an awe inspiring jaw-dropping story of a man, his courage, and his determination to make it. Against all odds in the face of immense humiliation, his struggle of fifteen years to get to the top. A story that justified why so many people leave everything family, wealth, privilege only to follow their dream of making it in tinsel town.
A story that fulfilled the touch, which was required for my story ‘Sparsham!’
I just started to look at the book.
On the other hand here, Vikram goes into the flashback mode.
****************************
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