Part 53: I don’t know when it all started. This love for acting!

The Vikram Story

The phone rings.

Sometimes I feel like I represent every cliche in the world. Very promptly my heart thuds. I am so excited. Blood rushes to my ears. Or does it rush to my eyes? Who knows? My body feels light, like I am in space. I walk towards the phone almost in slow motion and pick up the receiver.

‘Hello?’

I am waiting for the call of a lifetime- a call that every actor in Chennai, every actor in India waits for. Some admit it openly. Others pretend it doesn’t matter. But it does. Trust me. Short to deifying him, he is the god from who every actor waits for a call. And I, Kenny, aka Vikram, am going to be the hero of his film-a film that will be made not just in Tamil but also get a nationwide release in Hindi. What more could I ask for?

This is going to be my ticket to stardom. I can just feel it. Mani Ratnam has tested me for the lead role in Bombay. He has liked me enough to go ahead and shoot the pre-publicity photos, which normally means that you are the hero of the film. I think. Of course there was a bit of a mishap the day before at the still-photos shoot. Normally I am so comfortable be an actor. But somehow, for someone who feels so comfortable acting on stage and acting on screen, I can never quite get a grip on these photo shoots. I never know which way to look, what expression to pull out of a hat, and how to ‘hold’ on to that expression. In front of a movie camera, when the director says ‘action’, I can barely hold myself back. I mean, I can cry, get mad and fell pain. At will. But in a photo shoot, where I have to ‘hold’ on to a feeling, I never can manage. Being fluid is easy. Being still has always been and still is so bloody hard. And I think it shows, for Ratnam seemed a little put out at my not-so-good photo shoot. But hey, what the hell! One bad photo shoot will not change anything. Of course not. But again…. Will it? No way. It will be okay. But….”

I don’t know when it all started. This love for acting. The desire to perform. May be I was born with the urge. Cinema is in my blood. My father too is an actor. He has performed in about 5 films. My dad ran away from home. Only because he had that manic urge to be an actor. He still is such an incredibly good-looking guy. But in those days, when he wanted to make it, the film industry was monopolized by Sivaji and MGR, and dad found it so hard to get a break. Maybe watching him set me off! Who knows? I was interested in cinema at a very young age. At that time, my fantasies were that my films would run in theatres, I would earn a lot of money, would buy a sports car, go around everywhere and such.

All I know is that eve as a callow youth I dreamt of being the swashbuckling knight in shining armor who would ride black stallions and sweep away all those beautiful women off their feet. Yeah…women! And the money! And the sports cars! Getting mobbed on the streets for autographs! Top producers queuing up outside my home for dates! Huge cut-outs and hoardings lording it all over the state. Getting gossiped about in film magazines! Sharing screen space with all the big stars I idolized and admired.

Moreover, I could be so many different people. I could be a beggar. A poet. A warrior. A roadside Romeo. A street-side goonda. A villain with bad teeth. Just imagine: All the opportunities to be so many different people and get paid for it as well! Different people. One life. What other place in this world would give me an opportunity like the moves? To top it all, you can do all of the above and claim you were in it only for the art and actually get away with it!

What a beautiful life, the life of an actor seemed to me.

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