I became conscious when someone sprinkled water on my face and tried dab my cheek very softly to bring me back to consciousness. I tried to react and slowly open my eyes but still felt like the seen around me circumgyrating.
There was probably just blink of an eye in between the most depressed moment and the sinking feeling. In that flash, I heard the rattle of death within me and he was in front of me as to black out that spasm.
I could not see his face clearly bear in mind, as I was too tired and was able to see just a glimpse of him before I closed my eyes. I don’t know from where he appeared suddenly. What I remember is he was sitting before me at a little distance. He was in a cloth of the colour of pure snow. Looked like a cherub.
His face reminds of someone who? Who??? That unassuming face! I have seen him before but where?
??????
Oh my ..!!! Was it Paramhamsa (The master of Swami Vivekananda)?
The thought itself was bristling one. Was he??
Cannot be but why?
Just because of the scarf tied on his forehead!
Was it Lord (Shirdi )Sai baba?? Oh my! I was not able to judge categorically. But I have seen that babyish face.
I tried to open my eyes slowly and look at him. His face before such a calm and screne expression of inwardness born of indifference to all things that I was amazed and felt drawn towards him. He moved towards me slowly and eyes stead fastly fixed on me as if he wanted to say something. But I was seized with fear and could not keep quiet. I tried to speak but could not. I was just able to realize that. I was on a couch and he is sitting very next to me and blandishing my hair. That caress (touch) was so soothing.
His face was so familiar. But I couldn’t recollect his name. I was almost about to ask who are you? But as a surprise he questioned, ‘Hi, Hari! How are you?’
When I was about to ask, ‘Who are you?’, he asked, ‘How are you?’ I don’t know how but suddenly a flash in my mind.
Oh my God! I couldn’t believe the mystifying fact of my life.
‘Oh my God!!! Kenny! Is it you?’
A smile on his face, ‘Yeah, Hari. It’s me!’
‘Oh God .I can’t believe this. It’s like a dream.’
Just a smile was his answer in that silence.
But still I stopped him for a while and questioned him below my breath, ‘Did I call you or speak to you? Why did you come here?’
‘Did I come here without any reason? I felt you called me. And I wanted to see you. That is why I came.’
‘Really? Did I?’ I fell in cogitation.
I was just able to realize that the exhaustion was so great that I was unable to precede a single step further. I cannot say whether I had lost consciousness altogether for sometime then.
I could not understand anything. I found him in a strange mood. He spoke something indistinctly to himself, looked steadfastly at me. I thought another strange scene was going to be enacted. Scarcely had I thought so when he placed his right palm on my forehead, and immediately I had a wonderful experience. I saw with my eyes open that all the things in the room together with the walls were rapidly whirling and receding into an unknown region, and my “I sense” together with the whole universe was, as it were, going to vanish in an all devouring great void. I was then overwhelmed with a terrible fear. I knew that the destruction of the ‘I sense’ was death; so I thought that death was before me, very near at hand, unable to control myself, I cried out loudly, saying, ‘Ah! What is it you have done to me? I have my parents, you know!’
Laughing loudly at my words, he said, ‘Just before few minutes before taking the unusual step of ending your life why did not you think so?’
I was dumbstruck.
With a sweet smile on his face he touched and slowly dabbed on my left cheek by his palm and said, ‘I had to remind that feeling and that’s why I did so let it cease now.’
I was amazed to see how that extraordinary experience of mine vanished as quickly as it had come when he touched me in this manner, speaking those words. I came to the normal state and saw things inside and outside the room standing still as before.
All this took place in a trice, causing so many questions in my mind. The critical and reflective youth that I was, I tried my best to understand how an apparently babyish man could overwhelm my mind and refashion it like a ball of clay could it be mesmerism or hypnotism, of which I had read very much? It could not be, because I was proud of my own intelligence and strong will, and I had.
****************************
There was probably just blink of an eye in between the most depressed moment and the sinking feeling. In that flash, I heard the rattle of death within me and he was in front of me as to black out that spasm.
I could not see his face clearly bear in mind, as I was too tired and was able to see just a glimpse of him before I closed my eyes. I don’t know from where he appeared suddenly. What I remember is he was sitting before me at a little distance. He was in a cloth of the colour of pure snow. Looked like a cherub.
His face reminds of someone who? Who??? That unassuming face! I have seen him before but where?
??????
Oh my ..!!! Was it Paramhamsa (The master of Swami Vivekananda)?
The thought itself was bristling one. Was he??
Cannot be but why?
Just because of the scarf tied on his forehead!
Was it Lord (Shirdi )Sai baba?? Oh my! I was not able to judge categorically. But I have seen that babyish face.
I tried to open my eyes slowly and look at him. His face before such a calm and screne expression of inwardness born of indifference to all things that I was amazed and felt drawn towards him. He moved towards me slowly and eyes stead fastly fixed on me as if he wanted to say something. But I was seized with fear and could not keep quiet. I tried to speak but could not. I was just able to realize that. I was on a couch and he is sitting very next to me and blandishing my hair. That caress (touch) was so soothing.
His face was so familiar. But I couldn’t recollect his name. I was almost about to ask who are you? But as a surprise he questioned, ‘Hi, Hari! How are you?’
When I was about to ask, ‘Who are you?’, he asked, ‘How are you?’ I don’t know how but suddenly a flash in my mind.
Oh my God! I couldn’t believe the mystifying fact of my life.
‘Oh my God!!! Kenny! Is it you?’
A smile on his face, ‘Yeah, Hari. It’s me!’
‘Oh God .I can’t believe this. It’s like a dream.’
Just a smile was his answer in that silence.
But still I stopped him for a while and questioned him below my breath, ‘Did I call you or speak to you? Why did you come here?’
‘Did I come here without any reason? I felt you called me. And I wanted to see you. That is why I came.’
‘Really? Did I?’ I fell in cogitation.
I was just able to realize that the exhaustion was so great that I was unable to precede a single step further. I cannot say whether I had lost consciousness altogether for sometime then.
I could not understand anything. I found him in a strange mood. He spoke something indistinctly to himself, looked steadfastly at me. I thought another strange scene was going to be enacted. Scarcely had I thought so when he placed his right palm on my forehead, and immediately I had a wonderful experience. I saw with my eyes open that all the things in the room together with the walls were rapidly whirling and receding into an unknown region, and my “I sense” together with the whole universe was, as it were, going to vanish in an all devouring great void. I was then overwhelmed with a terrible fear. I knew that the destruction of the ‘I sense’ was death; so I thought that death was before me, very near at hand, unable to control myself, I cried out loudly, saying, ‘Ah! What is it you have done to me? I have my parents, you know!’
Laughing loudly at my words, he said, ‘Just before few minutes before taking the unusual step of ending your life why did not you think so?’
I was dumbstruck.
With a sweet smile on his face he touched and slowly dabbed on my left cheek by his palm and said, ‘I had to remind that feeling and that’s why I did so let it cease now.’
I was amazed to see how that extraordinary experience of mine vanished as quickly as it had come when he touched me in this manner, speaking those words. I came to the normal state and saw things inside and outside the room standing still as before.
All this took place in a trice, causing so many questions in my mind. The critical and reflective youth that I was, I tried my best to understand how an apparently babyish man could overwhelm my mind and refashion it like a ball of clay could it be mesmerism or hypnotism, of which I had read very much? It could not be, because I was proud of my own intelligence and strong will, and I had.
****************************
No comments:
Post a Comment